Together in care and illness. Everyday life for elderly couples where both are ill.

Abstract

Older cohabiting couples where both spouses are ill are also each other's caregiver. In this article, we will examine how everyday life with care and illness unfolds among older married couples who, to varying degrees, receive district nursing care. Based on this, we will discuss and challenge the traditional dichotomous understanding of the roles of patient versus caregiver that arises in the encounter with the welfare state. The article is based on eight semi-structured in-depth interviews with five cohabiting older married couples. Based on the couple Doris and Jens, and incorporating the experiences of the other four couples, the article explores how the couples share care and illness in different ways. The themes of the analysis: when care primarily goes one way; in the 'two-someness' of care and illness; and cracks of light in everyday life with illness show that the welfare state is an essential condition and actor for how the married couples are together on care and illness. It is also clear that the married couples in their encounter with the welfare state's health professionals are framed in the roles of patient and caregiver in a dichotomous understanding, which we challenge in this article, as both spouses are ill and are each other's caregiver. This dissolves the dichotomy between patient and caregiver and highlights how care flows differently between the two ill spouses. This has implications for the encounter between the elderly couple and the healthcare system and for the expectations of the person categorized as the caregiver.