«Nå er han borte»

Minoritets- og majoritetsnorske om å følge en som står nær, i siste fase av livet

Abstract

Two questions are explored in this article: How is it experienced to accompany a dear one at the end of life? And, how these experiences can be interpreted as shared by all humans? The empirical material are qualitative interviews. Interpretations are made using theories on how we are made into human beings in close relations to others – and how this is universal despite cultural and social differences. The point of departure, is a tendency to do research on “elderly immigrants” and on health- and care services equal to all, based on certain assumptions: That cultural differences make distinctions and a need for health professionals to be culturally competent. These perspectives are, however, criticized for constructing othering, for ignoring asymmetrical power relations and the ability of professionals to use their competence on human relations – no matter who people are. The article relates to the critique. Interviews with minority and majority Norwegians on experiences of accompanying their dear ones at the end of life, are analyzed inspired by a phenomenological strategy: First close to the actual experiences individuals talk about, then based on a theoretical framework. A close community based on a shared we, is visible in the narratives analyzed. This is a we characterized by love, as well as dependency and commitment. But it is also a community of tending, caring and administrating – as well as distancing towards a fact hard to acknowledge; the death of the other. At the end it is also a community of farewell. These are experiences interpreted as universal to all humans, using Martin Bubers philosophy on I-Thou relations and I-It relations – how we are made in to human beings in relations to the other. As well as theory on partiality in special relations, such as the family. Experiences of accompanying a dear at the end of life challenge I-Thou-relations.