Digital Romance:
Meaning-making in the Trajectories of Online Relationships
Keywords:
online relationships, online dating, relationships trajectories, life course, transitionsAbstract
This paper examines how people make sense of their experiences of technology-mediated romantic relationships. While research shows that people increasingly and effectively use technology to meet their relationship needs, concerns about its negative impact on intimate and social lives persist, underscoring the importance of studying this phenomenon from the person’s perspective. To address this contradiction, we adopt a sociocultural and developmental approach to analyze how relationships evolve and are experienced in the context of interactions with partners, technology, and broader social discourses. The study, which interviewed thirteen young to middle-aged individuals about their online relationships, shows that the meanings attributed to technology change as relationships progress. These changes are further shaped by the technology’s characteristics and the social narratives surrounding it. The analysis highlights the dynamic interplay between technology, relationships, and societal expectations, providing insights into how people navigate their romantic lives in the digital age.
References
Bauer, M. W., & Gaskell, G. (1999). Towards a Paradigm for Research on Social Representations. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 29(2), 163–186. https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-5914.00096
Bonilla-Zorita, G., Griffiths, M. D., & Kuss, D. J. (2021). Online Dating and Problematic Use: A Systematic Review. International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, 19(6), 2245–2278. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-020-00318-9
Boyatzis, R. E. (1998). Transforming qualitative information: Thematic analysis and code development. Sage.
Billig, M. (2013). Learn to Write Badly: How to Succeed in the Social Sciences (1st ed.). Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9781139208833
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3(2), 77–101. https://doi.org/10.1191/1478088706qp063oa
Brody, N., LeFebvre, L., & Blackburn, K. (2020). Holding on and letting go: Memory, nostalgia, and effects of virtual possession management practices on post-breakup adjustment. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(7), 2229–2249. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520921460
Brody, N., LeFebvre, L. E., & Blackburn, K. G. (2016). Social Networking Site Behaviors Across the Relational Lifespan: Measurement and Association With Relationship Escalation and De-escalation. Social Media + Society, 2(4), 205630511668000. https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305116680004
Crystal, J. L., & Hancock, J. T. (2013). Absence Makes the Communication Grow Fonder: Geographic Separation, Interpersonal Media, and Intimacy in Dating Relationships: Long-Distance Intimacy Process. Journal of Communication, 63(3), 556–577. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcom.12029
Cunningham, M., & Barbee, A. P. (2008). Prelude to a kiss: Nonverbal flirting, opening gambits, and other communication dynamics in the initiation of romantic relationships. In Sprecher S., Wenzel A., Harvey J. (Eds.). In Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 97–120). New York: Psychology Press.
de Saint-Laurent, C. & Zittoun, T. (2017). 209Memory in Life Transitions. In B. Wagoner (Ed.), Handbook of Culture and Memory. Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780190230814.003.0010
Datareportal. (2024). DIGITAL 2024: GLOBAL OVERVIEW REPORT. Datareportal. https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2024-global-overview-report
Dunbar, R. I. M. (2016). Do online social media cut through the constraints that limit the size of offline social networks? Royal Society Open Science, 3(1), 150292. https://doi.org/10.1098/rsos.150292
Ellison, N., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2006). Managing Impressions Online: Self-Presentation Processes in the Online Dating Environment. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 11(2), 415–441. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1083-6101.2006.00020.x
Fox, J., Osborn, J. L., & Warber, K. M. (2014). Relational dialectics and social networking sites: The role of Facebook in romantic relationship escalation, maintenance, conflict, and dissolution. Computers in Human Behavior, 35, 527–534. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2014.02.031
Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Romantic Partner Monitoring After Breakups: Attachment, Dependence, Distress, and Post-Dissolution Online Surveillance via Social Networking Sites. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18(9), 491–498. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2015.0123
Goldberg, S., Yeshua-Katz, D., & Marciano, A. (2022). Online construction of romantic relationships on social media. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(6), 1839–1862. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211067814
Hassenzahl, M., Eckoldt, K., Diefenbach, S., Laschke, M., Lenz, E., & Kim, J. (2013). Designing moments of meaning and pleasure. Experience design and happiness. International Journal of Design, 7(3), 21–31.
Joinson, A. N., & Dietz-Uhler, B. (2002). Explanations for the Perpetration of and Reactions to Deception in a Virtual Community. Social Science Computer Review, 20(3), 275–289. https://doi.org/10.1177/08939302020003005
Kelmer, G., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Relationship Quality, Commitment, and Stability in Long‐Distance Relationships. Family Process, 52(2), 257–270. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2012.01418.x
Knapp M. L. (1978). Social intercourse: From greeting to goodbye. Needham Heights, MA, USA: Allyn & Bacon.
Lea, M., & Spears, R. (1995). Love at first byte? Building personal relationships over computer networks. In J. T. Wood & S. Duck (Eds.). In Under-studied relationships: Off the beaten track (pp. 197–233). Sage Publications, Inc.
LeFebvre, L. E. (2018). Swiping me off my feet: Explicating relationship initiation on Tinder. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(9), 1205–1229. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517706419
Monberg, J. (2005). Trajectories of computer-mediated communication research. Southern Communication Journal, 70, 181–186.
Murray, C. E., & Campbell, E. C. (2015). The Pleasures and Perils of Technology in Intimate Relationships. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 14(2), 116–140. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2014.953651
Pilek, M., & de Saint Laurent, C. (2024). Dialogism and OMeaning-Making in online Romantic Relationships and Friendships. Journal of Constructivist Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/10720537.2024.2447520
Poulsen, S. V., Kvåle, G., & Van Leeuwen, T. (2018). Special Issue: Social Media as Semiotic Technology. Social Semiotics, 28(5), 593–600. https://doi.org/10.1080/10350330.2018.1509815
Ramirez, A., Sumner, E. M., & Spinda, J. (2017). The Relational Reconnection S-Function of Social Network Sites. New Media & Society, 19(6), 807–825. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444815614199
Rodrigue, C. (2023). Relationship course theory: An interdisciplinary integrative proposition to address the complexification of interpersonal relationships. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 53(4), 620–641. https://doi.org/10.1111/jtsb.12391
Rosenfield, M. (2017). Marriage, Choice, and Couplehood in the Age of the Internet. Sociological Science, 4, 490–510. https://doi.org/10.15195/v4.a20
Rumbough, T. (2001). The development and maintenance of interpersonal relationships through computer‐mediated communication. Communication Research Reports, 18(3), 223–229. https://doi.org/10.1080/08824090109384802
Sharabi, L. L. (2024). The Enduring Effect of Internet Dating: Meeting Online and the Road to Marriage. Communication Research, 51(3), 259–284. https://doi.org/10.1177/00936502221127498
Sharabi, L. L., & Caughlin, J. P. (2017). What predicts first date success? A longitudinal study of modality switching in online dating. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 370–391. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12188
Sharabi, L. L., & Hopkins, A. (2021). Picture perfect? Examining associations between relationship quality, attention to alternatives, and couples’ activities on Instagram. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(12), 3518–3542. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407521991662
Statista. (2024). Online dating worldwide—Statistics & Facts. https://www.statista.com/topics/7443/online-dating/#topicOverview
Su, H. (2016). Constant connection as the media condition of love: Where bonds become bondage. Media, Culture & Society, 38(2), 232–247. https://doi.org/10.1177/0163443715594037
Toma, C. L., Hancock, J. T., & Ellison, N. B. (2008). Separating Fact From Fiction: An Examination of Deceptive Self-Presentation in Online Dating Profiles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(8), 1023–1036. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167208318067
Thomas, R. J. (2019). Online Exogamy Reconsidered: Estimating the Internet’s Effects on Racial, Educational, Religious, Political, and Age Assortative Mating. Social Forces, soz060. https://doi.org/10.1093/sf/soz060
Turkle, S. (1999). Cyberspace and Identity. Contemporary Sociology, 28(6), 643. https://doi.org/10.2307/2655534
Valkenburg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2007). Who Visits Online Dating Sites? Exploring Some Characteristics of Online Daters. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 10(6), 849–852. https://doi.org/10.1089/cpb.2007.9941
Valsiner, J. (1994). Irreversibility of time and the construction of historical developmental psychology. Mind, Culture, and Activity, 1(1–2), 25–42. https://doi.org/10.1080/10749039409524655
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Walther, J. B. (1996). Computer-Mediated Communication: Impersonal, Interpersonal, and Hyperpersonal Interaction. Communication Research, 23(1), 3–43. https://doi.org/10.1177/009365096023001001
Walther, J. B. (2007). Selective self-presentation in computer-mediated communication: Hyperpersonal dimensions of technology, language, and cognition. Computers in Human Behavior, 23(5), 2538–2557. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2006.05.002
Wertsch, J. (1998). Mind as action. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Zittoun, T. (2012). Lifecourse: A socio-cultural perspective. In J. Valsiner (Ed.). In Oxford Handbook of Culture and Psychology (pp. 513–535). New York: Oxford University Press.
Zittoun T. (2008). Development through transitions. European Journal of Psychology of Education, 23(2), 165–181.
Downloads
Published
How to Cite
Issue
Section
License
From issue no. 1 2022 and onward, the journal uses the CC Attribution-NonCommercial- Share Alike 4.0 license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/) The authors retain the copyright to their articles.
The articles published in the previous 37 issues (From Vol. 1, no. 1, 1999 to Vol. 22, No. 1, 2021, are published according to Danish Copyright legislation. This implies that readers can download, read, and link to the articles, but they cannot republish these articles. The journal retain the copyright of these articles. Authors can upload them in their institutional repositories as a part of a green open access policy.
